Kingdom Hearts: A Whole New World
by killerkomedy
Summary: An epic tale where Sora, Kairi and Riku get trapped in the queerest world possible


Kingdom Hearts-A Whole New World

Chapter 1- Boredom

At Destiny Islands, Sora, Kairi and Riku live their lives in peace. Kairi is a sophomore in high school. Riku and Sora are freshman. Come on, they were out adventuring for so long. They should be thankful that they didn't have to pay bills. Sora and Riku are now at the hangout, waiting for Kairi.

Sora: Riku, do you always have to smoke weed? You know it's illegal.

Riku: Sora, think about it. If weed was legal, crime would decrease. Why? Because everyone would be too high to commit crimes. That's why Amsterdam is probably a crime free zone.

Sora: But you're the only criminal here.

Riku: Prove it!

Sora: You stole Cloud's motorbike when we were at the premiere of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. Then you framed Seifer's gang for it.

Riku: Hey, I got you Kadaj's bike. And you didn't seem to mind when Hayner's gang thanked us for the bikes I got them with lots of beer and you certainly didn't mind Olette's thank you.

Sora: That was a great threesome, but why did you get the fun parts. All I got was a blowjob and then you kicked me out.

Riku: You didn't do any of the work.

Sora: What about getting Wakka and Tidus framed for using steroids? You almost destroyed their blitz ball careers.

Riku: Hey, they pelted me with a blitz ball and flattened my weed. Besides they sold me Selphie to prove their innocence. You didn't seem to mind when I let you have her for a night.

Sora: What about getting the principal high and having her as a sex slave to set her free?

Riku: Our principal is Tifa, you moron. Fill in the blanks. And I let you have fun with her. You didn't mind then either? You know for trying to prosecute me, you just wound up letting me remember things that could ruin your relationship with Kairi. And besides, you don't think I know about how you use the Keyblade to break into hot chicks' houses and use my beer to make them drunk. You owe me like 5000 munny.

Sora: What's the deal with that spelling? Munny. Sounds like a retard thought of it.

(Years ago, at Disney Castle)

Mickey: What should I call the new currency? Pete, just come up with something before you get banished.

Pete: (Writes down munny) Wait a sec, why am I getting banished?

Mickey: You tried to rape my wife and Daisy.

Pete: Oh right. Well, just so we're clear. I tried to cook Daisy, raping her was impossible cuz her feathers would make me sneeze.

Mickey: God, you're disgusting.

Chapter 2- More Boredom. An Intruder?

Kairi is at the hideout now.

Kairi: Sora, Riku. Sorry, I'm late. I had some volunteer work to do.

Sora: Sheesh, Kairi. Don't you know it's not volunteer if it's a school requirement?

Riku: Sora, you can use that argument till you're green in the face. The Board of Ed. Won't take it.

Sora: You're wrong. They'll see I'm right. Companies will pay me as a thank you for not having to have volunteers.

Riku: Whatever. I'm bored.

Sora: I miss the days we had enemies to kill. This is no fun. Now the best thing to do here is play blitz ball or Yu-Gi-Oh. Life sucks.

Riku: You should have some weed like me. That was probably the best parental advice I ever got.

Kairi: Or maybe you should get a hobby or do some extracurricular activities.

Sora: I think saving the world twice counts as extracurricular. I got a scholarship for it.

Riku: Same here. I also got a scholarship for almost destroying the world while wearing a dress. Hey, are those weird looking guys villains. (pointing at Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki)

Sora: Nah, they're just emos. Look at those black and red coats. They are really bad at hiding it. (Points and laughs at them)

Itachi: Look there, the Keyblade wielders who saved the world. They reduced the power of darkness. We, the Akatsuki, will get rid of them. Ready the portal, Kisame.

Kisame moves his hands to control the ocean and sends it on Sora, Kairi and Riku.

Itachi: Will this work?

Kisame: Yes, it should. The current in there will send them to a dimensional hole. Deidara's clay tracers should at least tell us which dimension they're in. Then we'll go there and adapt to their rules and finish them.

Itachi: Sasori, over here.

Sasori enters.

Sasori: Do not worry. These puppets will act like them and will make people think they are alive but evil. Let us go. Hidan and Kakuzu are looking for the secret reports as we speak.

Itachi: Deidara and Sasori, be prepared to interfere in their adventures in the new world. They may have some help from above. Understand?

Deidara and Sasori: Understood.

Itachi, Sasori, Deidara and Kisame warp away.

Chapter 3- Help From Above

In heaven

???: Oh Lord of Dimensions, Earth will not prosper without its Keybladers. I have an experiment that may be able to help our trapped heroes.

killerkomedy: Do not worry. They must learn to be able to adapt to the rules of that world and find the door out. But if what you say is true, then I might think about saying yes, Ansem the Wise.

Ansem: These blank books will adapt to the rules of a dimension when its bearer hears them. The book will transform into something that will aid them without breaking the rules drastically.

killerkomedy: What do you mean drastically?

Ansem: Drastic as in that it doesn't destroy the fibers of the world. There are three books for each Keyblader.

killerkomedy: I suppose that I will let you send it to them. It's best if you go.

killerkomedy creates a portal.

Ansem: Thank you.

Ansem heads to the portal. Meanwhile, Sora, Riku and Kairi regain consciousness.

Sora: Why do we always lose consciousness when we travel through dimensions?

Kairi: ARE YOU SERIOUS? THAT'S THE FIRST QUESTION YOU ASK! NOT WHERE ARE WE OR WHAT DO WE DO? BUT THAT!

Riku: Yep, she's definitely going through her period.

Kairi knocks out Riku.

Sora: What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So we get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. And I don't like it anymore then you men.

Kairi knocks out Sora

Kairi: I'M A WOMAN, YOU ASSHOLE! AND THAT'S WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY!

Ansem: Awaken and take these.

Kairi: What are these?

Ansem: You are in a new world. You must learn the rules of this new world as your Keyblades alone may not be able to help. When you hear the rules of this world, these books will take shape into items you need to fight in this world with a little bit of imagination involved. You must find the door out of here.

Sora: No not another door. They have traumatized me so much.

Riku: Come on, we better go find out what dimension we're in. Wait I think I've seen this before.

Sora: Why does this look like Duelist Kingdom? Heh, just putting it out there. Not like it's true. Heh heh.

Chapter 4- First Blood

Kairi: Oh my god, it's Yugi Moto, Joey Wheeler, Tea Gardner and Tristan Taylor.

Sora and Riku: Oh shit.

Yugi: You guys are duelists too. Looks like you have your stuff ready.

Sora, Riku and Kairi see that they have cards and star chips.

Sora: Wait we know the rules so the book adapted for us.

Riku: Hmm, if we remake them a little bit. Hmm.

Weevil Underwood enters.

Weevil: Hey one of you n00bs better duel me. I want to pwn you with my l33t skills.

Sora: Oh my god, it's Carrie Underwood's little brother who was born through incest.

Weevil: How dare you reveal my deep dark secret. I will kill you with my insects. I'll bet 2 star chips.

Sora: Same here. I hope what Riku was saying back there was true.

Weevil: I summon an insect. Mwahahah.

Sora: you're laughing after summoning a bug, you idiot I have just the card for that.

Weevil: No you don't.

Sora: oh yes I do. Hope this works.

Sora draws a card and it turns out to be an Exterminator. (Attack power 1900)

Sora: Whoa. I imagined it and it works. Go Exterminator. Squash his bug and his effect takes place. The attack power of your bug is deducted from your life points.

Weevil's life points go from 8000 to 6300

Weevil: No my deck is full of insects. (To himself) Wait I have this trap card. (To Sora) I'll summon this insect with 1700 attack points and lay a face down card.

Sora: I'll just kill it again. But first I'll play Businessman(Attack power 1000). Attack!

Weevil: Trap Card.: Economic Crisis! Your Exterminator gets fired and joins my side but your Businessman doubles in power.

Sora: Businessman. Kill the bug. Then I'll lay a face down.

Weevil's life points go from 6300 to 6000.

Weevil: Now I can play Revenge of the Dead. My insects come back to life. Then I sacrifice them to summon Bebi, the parasite in Dragonball GT. Attack power 2500. Attack!

Sora: I play Business meeting. My monster is safe and I can summon 2 Security Guards(Attack power

Chapter 4 continued

1500) to protect me.

Sora's life points go from 8000 to 66000.

Riku: Why did he do that/

Kairi: Maybe he liked how Businessman looked.

Yugi: Maybe he has a strategy.

Kairi and Riku stare at Yugi and then start laughing out loud.

Riku and Kairi: He's a complete dumbass.

Sora: Time to use my strategy.

Riku and Kairi: WHAT???????

Sora: I play the magic card Porn Industry. This turns my Businessman into Hugh Hefner(Attack Power 2800). Now I play Playboy Mansion. This allows me to summon three Porn Models(Attack Power 2000). Now I use Lesbian Threesome. This brings Exterminator back to my side of the field. Exterminator crush Bebi.

Weevil: NO!!!!!!!!

Weevil's life points go from 6000 to 3500.

Sora: It doesn't take Goku to crush a parasite. Hugh Hefner and Porn Models finish him.

Weevil: I lost and now he ruined lesbian porn for me.

Weevil runs away while crying.

Sora holds his star chips like Pokemon gym badges

Sora: I got two star chips.

Riku and Kairi stand traumatized at the fact that Sora had a plan.

Yugi: We forgot to introduce ourselves. I'm Yugi. This is Joey, Tea and Tristan.

Sora: I'm Sora. He's Riku and she's Kairi.

Tristan and Joey: Great duel. Can you use the Hugh Hefner plan more often.

Sora: Of course I will.

Yugi: You seem like newcomers, but you seem to know how to play. Let's look around this wide plain full of areas to duel and get some start chips.

Joey and Tristan: I'll go with Kairi.

Tea: You better not get any ideas. You can only go inside me.

Chapter 5- Victim Of Darkness

Riku walks around with Tea.

Riku: Sheesh, I can't believe I have to play this game. Wait I have an idea to get an opponent. Tea follow along.

Tea: Anything for you, Riku.

Riku: (Speaking in a tone where it's obvious that he's trying to hustle you) Oh man, it seems that I'm not very good at this. I hope no one challenges me.

Rex Raptor: Heh heh. I challenge you. 2 start chips. Okay?

Riku: (Sounding confident) Sure.

Rex Raptor: Wait. I thought you sucked.

Riku: Nope. Now you'll lose because I hustled you.

Tea puts on a cheerleading uniform and starts cheering for Riku.

Riku: I'll go first. I play one face down card and end my turn.

Rex Raptor: I can so beat that. I play Young Raptor(Attack power 1000). Attack!

Riku: Activate Trap Darkness Within. Since your Young Raptor has 1000 attack points, if I have a card that has Heartless in its name with the same number of attack points. Your card gets sacrificed so I can play my card. And I sacrifice it to play Heartless: Shadow(Attack power 1000).

Rex Raptor: Crap. Well then I'll play Caveman Boulder Wall. This card has 4000 hit points. You have to destroy this wall before you can get to me or my monsters. And it seems you can only summon Heartless on the turn I summon a monster, but this wall prevents you from seeing them, therefore you can't convert them.

Riku: Crap. Well it's my turn. I summon Jafar(Attack power 1800). Shadow attack him directly. Jafar attack his wall. I'll also play one face down.

Wall's Health Points go from 4000 to 2200. Rex Raptor's life points go from 8000 to 7000.

Rex Raptor: What?

Riku: You didn't think I only had Heartless now. Did you? And Heartless can go through objects.

Rex: Well, I play Monster Reborn to bring back Young Raptor. Then I summon Young Triceratops(Attack power 1000). Then I play the magic card Growth Hormones, which allows my monsters to become Raptor(Attack power 2100) and Triceratops(Attack power 1900). I destroy my wall to attack you.

Riku: I active my face down. Genie's Three Wishes. This turns Jafar into Genie Jafar(Attack power 2800). His ability makes him take all attacks. So your dinos become extinct.

Rex Raptor's life points got from 7000 to 5400.

Rex Raptor: Damn you.

Riku: How do you like the darkness?

Chapter 5 continued

Rex Raptor: I'll get you. I lay one face down.

Riku: It's my turn. Now I play the magic card Darkness in the Dead. It works like Darkness Within but it works on your dead monsters. Allowing me to summon Heartless: Darkball (Attack power 1900) and Heartless: Neoshadow(Attack power 2100). I'll attack with Shadow.

Rex Raptor: Reveal face down Rise of the Alpha Male. This lets me summon the T-Rex (Attack power 3000). Bye bye Shadow.

Riku's life points go from 8000 to 6000.

Riku: Pretty clever. I'll sacrifice Neoshadow and Wyvern to summon Maleficent(Attack power 2500). Then I play Keyblade of Hearts(It's the Keyblade Riku uses in Hollow Bastion in Kingdom Hearts). It will do two things. First it lets me summon Dark Riku(Attack power 2800).

Rex Raptor: Why is there a card of yourself in a dress?

Riku fires a fireball that burns Rex Raptor's hair

Riku: Don't interrupt me and that is not a dress. Second by sacrificing Maleficent, I can summon Dragon Maleficent(Attack power 4000). Now dragon Maleficent destroy his T-Rex.

Rex Raptor's life points go from 5400 to 4400.

Riku: And don't forget my Darkness in the Dead. Meet Heartless: Invisible(Attack power 3000). Now Dark Riku & Invisible…(Use the Mortal Kombat voice)FINISH HIM!!!!

Rex Raptor: NO!!!!!

Street Fighter 4 Announcer: KO!

Riku: That's another victim of the darkness.

Tea: (squealing) You're so cool, Riku.

Meanwhile, Tristan, Joey and Kairi look for an opponent. They meet Mai.

Mai: (Points at Kairi) You there, little girl. I'd like to crush you.

Kairi: I'll show you how women do things.

Joey: Naked pillow fights?

Mai and Kairi: NO!

Tristan: Mud wrestling?

Mai and Kairi: NO! WE'RE GONNA DUEL FOR TWO START CHIPS!

Tristan and Joey: What bullshit. Whatever let's just watch. Why did our dialogue sound like a LittleKuriboh joke?

Killerkomedy strikes them with lightning. Joey and Tristan beg for mercy. MWAHAHAHA!!!!

Chapter 6-Catfight

Kairi: Time to play.

Mai: Don't cry like a little girl when I win. I'll play first. I play Horny Lady(Attack Power 1300). Then I combine her with Sexy Suit and Whip to make her Hooker (Attack Power 2000). Go sweetie.

Kairi: I play Man(Attack Power 1500). Then I play Gym Membership to make him Six-Pack Man (Attack Power 200). Then I lay a facedown.

Mai: I play Elegance. Turning my Hooker into a Temptress(Attack Power 2300) and it also lets me summon two more Temptresses. Prepare to die.

Kairi: I play Baby Delivery Video. This disturbs you r monsters so much they can't attack this turn.

Mai: Trying to buy time? Whatever, make your last move.

15 turns later of Kairi playing Traps to put Mai at bay.

Kairi: Finally, I got it. I play Pimp Suit to turn my Six-Pack Man into a Pimp(Attack Power 2500). Now I play Pimp Hand. This doubles my Pimp's attack power and he can attack all your monsters at once. Attack!

Mai: Oh no. I surrender. You killed my only three monsters.

Tristan: EPIC FAIL!!!!

Joey: Playboy girls and now Pimps. Why don't we have these cards?

Tristan: Maybe it's because they are from another world and some divine power gave allowed them to use their minds to make these cards to help them escape.

Joey: Tristan, stop reading Kyou Kara Maou.

Tristan: What? Maybe they came here through a toilet.

Kairi: That's disgusting. (Explains the story)

Joey: So wait, Naruto villains came into a Kingdom Hearts world and sent the main heroes

Tristan: And Kairi.

Kairi kicks Tristan in the balls.

Joey: to a new world? And you say that Pegasus may be the way out? Let's find the others and discuss this.

After gathering together. Sora has 6 star chips. Riku has 10 because he sold weed. Kairi flashed a guy and on the way to have 6 star chips.

Sora: Kairi and I will get chips and then we go battle Pegasus.

Riku: Guess I'll tag along. If I go now, they'll think I cheated.

Bandit Keith: I will defeat you and campaign for American president!

Mako Tsunami: I'll do it so I can get a yacht.

Chapter 7- Nintendo Power

Sora: Who are you guys?

Yugi: They're Mako Tsunami and Bandit Keith. Mako uses water based monsters and Bandit Keith uses machines.

Kairi: Sora, let's team up and take them. I've got a plan.

Sora: Ok. I've got a plan too. 2 plans are better than 1.

Mako: We know what you're going to do. By teaming up, his machines would rust in my water.

Bandit Keith: Or his fish die from the pollution caused by my machines.

Sora: Fine, I'll take on Mako.

Bandit Keith: I'll crush you with my machines, girly. We play for 4 star chips.

Kairi: You will see why discovering America was a mistake. Ladies first. Right Bandit Keith?

Bandit Keith: YES!!!

Everyone laughs.

Bandit Keith: Wait not me. Well fine I play Advanced Wars Base, which allows me to play Advanced Wars Units. I summon Advanced Wars Infantry(Attack Power 1200)

Kairi: I play Businessman (Attack Power 1000). Then I play a facedown card.

Bandit Keith: I play Advanced Wars Mech Unit(Attack Power 1500). Then I play CO Max. This card strengthens my units by 500 points. Attack!

Kairi: I play Business meeting. My Businessman is safe and two Security Guards(Attack Power 1500) take his place.

Kairi's life points go from 8000 to 7300.

Kairi: Now I play Video Game Industry to make my Businessman to a Video Game Producer(Attack Power 1500). Then I play Japanese Technology to make him a Nintendo Producer(attack Power 1900). Now I play Nintendo Classics and sacrifice my Producer to summon Link(Attack Power 2100), Mario(Attack Power 2100), Pit(Attack Power 2100), and Kirby(Attack Power 2100).

Bandit Keith: What the fuck! Not Japanese characters!

Kairi: Then I play Master Sword, Super Mushroom, Three Sacred Treasures and Meta Knight's Sword to create Hero of Time (Attack Power 3000), Super Mario (Attack Power 3000), Archangel (Attack Power 3000) and Master Kirby(Attack Power 3000). Then I play Copyright Arts to get rid of all your stuff. Attack!

Bandit Keith: No, I was defeated.

Kairi: I have 10 star chips now.

Mako: It's our turn Sora. We play for 4 star chips.

Chapter 8-Under The Sea

Mako: I play The Ocean. This gives me the sea to power up my creatures by 500 points. I summon Mudkip (Attack Power 1200).

Sora: A Pokemon battle eh? Then I play search through Power Plant. In three turns, a powerful Pokemon will come to destroy you. Then I play Day Care. In two turns four Pokemon will hatch. Then I lay a facedown.

Mako: I play Magikarp (Attack Power 800). Then I use PC to summon Feebas (Attack Power 800), and Wooper(Attack Power 1500). Attack. I play Pokemon Trainer to train my monsters. My Pokemon will evolve in two turns.

Sora: I play Dam. Only a monster with more than 2000 Attack Power can destroy it.

Mako: Damn. Then I'll play Relentless Search. A legendary Pokemon will come in two turns.

Sora: I also play Pokemon Trainer so when my three Pokemon come next turn, they'll evolve in the next turn. I'm done.

Mako: It will be interesting. I will win. I play a facedown and end my turn.

Sora: My three Pokemon hatch to become Pichu(Attack Power 1200), Shinx(Attack Power 1000), Magnemite (Attack Power 1200) and Mareep (Attack Power 1200). Then I play a facedown.

Mako: As I thought. All electric types. They won't beat Mudkip and Wooper when they evolve though. One more turn for evolutions.

Sora: Time fore evolutions. Here comes Pikachu (Attack Power 1700), Luxio (Attack Power 1700), Magneton (Attack Power 1700) and Flaafy (Attack Power 1700).

Mako: I get Marshtomp (Attack Power 1900), Gyarados (Attack Power 3000), Milotic (Attack Power 2500) and Quagsire (Attack Power 2300).

Sora: My turn. I now get Zapdos (Attack Power 3000). His thunder hits all your monsters and the sea gives my electric monsters a 500 point business.

Mako: But my monsters get a boost too.

Sora: My monster gets an extra 500 points for attacking water Pokemon.

Mako's life points go from 8000 to 6500. Sora's life points go from 8000 to 4200.

Sora: Wait, why didn't Marshtomp and Quagsire die? And why did I lose life points?

Mako: They're part ground, you dipshit. They repel electric-based attacks.

Sora: I thought you would pull this off. Next turn I will finish you.

Mako: Big talk. My Marshtomp becomes Swampert(Attack Power 3000). Swampert attack Luxio and Quagsire attack Pikachu.

Sora's life points go from 4200 to 2300.

Sora: I got the card to finish you.

Chapter 8 (Continued)

Sora: I play First Pokemon. It allows me to play a fully evolved Pokemon. I play Ludicolo (Attack Power 3000).

Mako: You had a Water Pokemon?

Sora: No. A Water and Grass Pokemon. Then I play Razor Leaf, which allows Ludicolo to attack both of your monsters. He gets 500 points from the sea and 1000 points for attacking Water and Ground types.

Mako's life points go from 6500 to 3800.

Sora: Don't forget. My Magneton becomes Magnezone (Attack Power 3000) and my Flaafy becomes an Am pharos (Attack Power 3000). Attack!

Mako: No, I lost.

Riku grabs both Mako and Bandit Keith.

Riku: Who hired you?

Bandit Keith: What do you mean?

Kairi: You were talking about getting a yacht and campaigning for American president!

Sora: Who hired you? Or else I'll pee in the ocean and then on the American flag! And you will be forced to watch it!

Riku: What kind of threat is that?

Bandit Keith: No, not the American flag!

Mako: (At the same time as Bandit Keith's previous line) No, not the ocean!

Bandit Keith and Mako: We'll talk!

Mako: We were hired by guys in weird coats. They called themselves Akatsuki. They owned us in duels.

Bandit Keith: They said their names were Deidara and Sasori. They had 10 star chips in the first day. They promised us cash to eliminate you and make sure you don't reach the castle tomorrow.

Riku: And I was afraid I was cheating. Wait, why tomorrow?

Yugi: You didn't know? The castle closes tomorrow. Anyone who has 10 star chips will get into the castle, but the castle closes tomorrow. Everyone who is there will participate in the finals.

Riku: What cards did these guys use?

Mako and Bandit Keith are about to speak but then they blow up.

Everyone but Riku screams in horror.

Riku: So this is what we're dealing with? Awesome. Let's go.

The group heads to the castle. The finals will begin.

Chapter 9-Pegaus's Castle

Eight people gather at Pegasus's courtyard.

Pegasus: You eight were able to get 10 star chips. Before we start things, introduce yourselves.

Deidara: I am Deidara.

Sasori: I am Sasori.

Kaiba: Seto Kaiba.

Yugi: I'm Yugi.

Joey: Name's Joey Wheeler.

Sora: I'm Sora.

Kairi: I'm Kairi.

Riku: Riku.

Pegasus: I'm Maximillian Pegasus. You will each participate in a tournament and strive to be the winner. The winner will get to battle me. If you win, you can get the prize money of $5,000,000 or you can ask for a wish, except for taking my fortune, controlling people, giving you super powers or reviving the dead.

Seto Kaiba: What's the point for a wish then? It's fucking bullshit.

Pegasus: Well I can give you my Gummi Ship to travel through worlds. Have a look.

Everyone sees a Gummi Ship that looks like an Arwing.

Sora: Awesome!

Pegasus: Well, here's the bracket.

West Block

Deidara vs. Yugi

Sora vs. Kairi

East Block

Sasori vs. Joey

Riku vs. Seto

Pegasus: And this time, you'll have 4000 life points. The first matches will be Deidara versus Yugi and Sasori versus Joey. Report to the stadium.

Sasori crushes Joey 4000 to 0. Deidara struggled to beat Yugi 1100 to 0.

Yugi: They are tough.

Pegasus: The next matches are Sora versus Kairi and Riku versus Seto.

Sora and Kairi stare at each other. Two lovers engaged in an epic children's card game. Least it's original.

Chapter 10- A Battle Between Lovers….NOT!

Kairi: I play Businessman (Attack Power 1000).

Sora: I will also play Businessman. Then I'll lay three facedowns.

Kairi: I play Video Game Industry to make a Video Game Producer (Attack Power 1500).

Sora: OBJECTION! I play Triple threat to have 3 Businessmen. Then I use Mimicry to have three Video Game Producers.

Kairi: I lay a facedown.

Sora: I play Corporation Competition to get three Magic cards: Atari, Square Enix and Nintendo to create Nintendo Producer (Attack Power 1800), Square Enix Producer (Attack Power 1800) and Atari Producer (Attack Power 1800). Then I play Game Gird, which allows us to have 10 monsters. Then I play another Corporation Competition to get Nintendo Classics, Square Enix Power and Atari's Only Franchise.

Kairi: Uh-oh.

Sora: Now I get Mario (Attack Power 2100), Link (Attack Power 2100), Pit (Attack Power 2100), Kirby (Attack Power 2100), Goku (Attack Power 2500), Sephiroth (Attack Power 3000) and Sora (Attack Power 1900). WAIT WHY AM I THE WEAKEST?

Kairi: I play Load Game to have the same monsters that you have on your side of the field. And it gets rid of your facedown.

Sora: Crap! Oh well, I'll play a facedown and I'm done with my turn. Hey look it's Riku.

Riku enters.

Riku: You haven't finished. My battle was a little tough. I had to resort to using my secret weapon. But I won., so I'm here to see you guys.

Kairi: Now I use Mega Upgrade to turn my monsters into Super Mario (Attack Power 3000), Hero of Time (Attack Power 3000), Archangel (Attack Power 3000), Super Saiyan Goku (Attack Power 4000), Safer Sephiroth (Attack Power 4500) and Final Form Sora (Attack Power 4000).

Sora: But I beat Sephiroth in my Final Form.

Kairi: SHUT UP! Attack his monsters. To be funny each one will attack its weaker version.

Sora: I play Master Chief's Life Shield. My monsters die but I don't lose life points. 

Kairi: Trying to live for one more turn.

Sora: My turn! I play Virus to destroy your monsters. Then I play Reconfigure to revive Safer Sephiroth and attack you.

Kairi: I lost. It was a good game Sora.

Deidara: So you will be my opponent. I look forward to destroying you with my art.

Sasori: Riku, you may have the powers of darkness but my puppets will destroy you.

Chapter 11-ART IS A BANG!…(Don't sue me Masashi Kishimoto)

Deidara: Prepare to be victimized by my art. I play three facedowns and end my turn.

Sora: I play Businessman (Attack Power 1000). ATTACK!

Deidara: Reveal Facedowns. Clay Spiders. These spiders have 500 attack power each though they are trap cards, but they can blow up your Businessman.

Sora's life points go from 8000 to 7000. Deidara's life points go from 8000 to 7500.

Sora: What the fuck is this?

Deidara; Every time one of my Clay Spiders blows up one of your monsters, I lose 500 points because the Clay Spiders have 500 attack points., but you lose life points equal to the amount of life points you have. For my turn, I play Clay Sculpture (Attack Power 0).

Sora: That's weak.

Deidara: In three turns, it will be much stronger.

Sora: Well I play Shepherd's Herd. This summons three Sheep (Attack Power 250), each turn. Now your Spiders do their thing.

Sora's life points go from 7500 to 6750. Deidara's life points go from 7500 to 6000.

Sora: Wow, it worked. Seems like your own strategy backfired.

Yugi: Of course! Why didn't I think of that? By using weak creatures, his strategy hurts him more than it hurts Sora.

Riku: Wow, some flawless art.

Sasori: Yes, it is flawless. But I assure you Riku, my art is perfect and you will learn that. Better hope this match takes a while so you can enjoy your last moments.

Riku: Seriously, why do people act like this shitty card game is their life? If I lose, then I'll just shank you and make you too incapacitated to continue. Pegasus never said a rule against that.

Pegasus: Oh crap! I didn't! Damn you clever bastards. Wait it looks like Sora won.

Sora zapped Deidara with the Keyblade. Deidara had no choice but to flee to Sasori's side. Riku stabs Sasori, but Sasori gets up and stabs Riku.

Sasori: My puppet body is immune to that kind of trickery. How do you think I got 10 star chips?

Deidara: You knew this rule?!! Why didn't you tell me?!!!

Sasori: It was fun to watch you struggle to learn the game. Arrggh! My body!

Riku: How'd you like my Dark Firaga? Uggnh!

Deidara and Sasori warp away.

Pegasus: It looks like Sora won. 

Chapter 12- Return to Home

Sora: Give me your ship or I'll kill you.

Pegasus: Ok here you go. Bye bye.

Pegasus runs.

Yugi: You guys completely broke the rules. It's unethical.

Joey: Shut up, Yugi! It was better than an R-rated movie.

Tristan: Better than an X-rated one.

Tea: Well, I guess this is good-bye.

Sora and the gang fly off.

Yugi: I think they ditched us.

Sora: I think we lost those losers.

Kairi: That was so agonizing. If only we thought of resorting to murder earlier.

Riku: I think we completely affected that world in a strange way.

The world of Yu-Gi-Oh blows up.

Kairi: Well, at least we affected it in a positive world.

Sora: Yeah! But we have to get those Akatsuki guys for doing this.

At the Akatsuki lair…

Itachi: It looks like they have failed.

Kisame: They are getting medical attention right now.

Hidan and Kakuzu enter.

Hidan: We've found it. Ansem the Wise's most confidential reports. 

Kakuzu: It has some pretty interesting stuff too.

Kisame: Are you sure this is it?

Itachi looks at it.

Itachi: Looks like we got it. We now have a weapon beyond the powers of darkness and the immortality of nothingness.

Kisame: Heh heh. We won't fail to kill teenagers this time.

Itachi; What happened in the Naruto world didn't happen! We'll go back there with our new power after we have taken over this world. Servants come forth. Your new master is Itachi!


End file.
